The early stages of divorce are often shocking and traumatic for both spouses. The spouse who files for divorce may have grieved the loss of the relationship for months or even years, while other spouse may be caught off guard and left scrambling to piece together their life.
But over time, a divorce can prove to be a positive thing for both spouses—especially if the relationship was already on rocky terms or was full of disagreements, fighting, and even resentment. As messy as many divorces can be, they often represent new beginnings and new chapters in life, and they give both spouses a “re-do” and a chance to amend mistakes they made in their previous relationship.
At the Law Office of André J. Ausseresses, APC, we know that divorce can be a mixed bag for both spouses. It’s our goal to help men like you get through this difficult time with your rights fully intact. Call our Irvine family law office today at (949) 244-8871 for a free initial consultation.
The Bright Side of a Divorce
Divorce is consistently ranked as one of the most stressful things people can experience, and it can be difficult to handle in the initial months or even years after it occurs. However, many divorced spouses report a number of positive changes in their lives as their previous relationships become further and further in their lives’ rear-view mirrors.
Those positive changes include:
1. A better relationship with your children
Children are often profoundly affected by divorce, but they’ve even more adversely affected by living in homes that are full of conflict and arguments. Although you may not get to see your children as often as you’d like after a divorce, the time you spend with them can be more focused, loving, and attentive. Ideally, you can work out a co-parenting schedule with your former spouse where you both are able to be more effective parents separately than you were together. It’s true that you may have less time overall with your children, but the time may be filled with more quality bonding activities than ever before.
2. More control over your life and your living space
Sharing a home or apartment with a spouse requires plenty of compromise. Everything from cleaning schedules and décor preferences to meal planning and chores all require input from both parties, and it’s rare for a married couple to be in full agreement about all aspects of domestic life. Over time, those small disagreements can lead to anger and resentment, especially when both parties have expectations that aren’t fulfilled by the other. After a divorce, you regain full control over your life and your surroundings, and you can create a schedule and environment that’s best suited for you.
3. Improved confidence and self-esteem
One surprising “perk” of divorce is the unexpected boost in confidence and self-esteem, especially if the marriage lacked intimacy or was full of hostility and contempt. Whether it’s simply being away from frequent disagreements and arguments or putting yourself back into the dating scene and meeting other people, striking out on your own is a great way to get in touch with yourself and your positive attributes. Unhealthy marriages have a tendency to cause people to lose sight of what they have to offer, and divorce can help them rediscover the things that make them who they are. In addition, many people who get divorced adopt healthier lifestyles with better dietary choices and increased exercise and physical activity.
4. A better relationship with your former spouse
If you don’t have children, you may choose to live a completely separate life from your previous spouse with little to no contact. But if you do have children, that’s unlikely to happen—especially if you desire partial or full custody. When children are in the picture, former spouses remain in the picture as well, and many divorced couples may find that they get along much better when they’re no longer legally bound to each other or living under the same roof. Maintaining a civil and cordial relationship with your former spouse is essential for co-parenting after divorce, and you may be surprised by how much easier it is to get along without the titles of husband and wife.
5. A chance to find true happiness
Your marriage didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you’re destined to be alone. Although the divorce rate isn’t quite as high as the oft-quoted 50 percent figure, it’s still significant, and that means first-time marriages not working out is very common. Don’t think of your divorce as a failure. Instead, view it as an opportunity to find the right person for you. You can use the lessons you learned in your previous marriage to help you narrow down your search for the ideal partner, which will make your next relationship or marriage much more likely to be the one that lasts a lifetime.
Another aspect of divorce that can either be positive or negative is a sudden abundance of free time. If you use the time productively, you can make great strides in your personal life, your career, and your hobbies—and those strides may not have been possible during your marriage.
Get Legal Representation for Your Divorce in Irvine
Divorce can have many positive aspects, but it can end poorly for men who are unprepared or who don’t get dedicated and experienced legal advocates on their side. Our law firm has helped men like you since 2001, and we know California divorce laws and what it takes to get favorable outcomes.
Andre Ausseresses at the Law Office of André J. Ausseresses and his team of legal professionals is ready to put their experience to work for you. Get in touch with us today for a free initial divorce consultation. We’re here to help.